Overcoming Self-Doubt

Some bad news: my book got cancelled. I will give you updates on where I’m going from here as they happen, but other than that, that’s all I want to say on the subject.

Despite the setback, I’m trying to find a way to power through. Honestly, even though my book isn’t being published anymore and I feel horrible, sad, mad, and all the other nasty emotions that come out of this type of situation, I’m not giving up. I didn’t come so far to have a book contract just to come that far. Right now, I’m taking my time to regroup and figure out how I can bounce back and climb up to where I was again and beyond.

The only person I have to overcome is myself, namely, the part of me that puts me down and keeps me trapped in patterns that no longer serve me. In short, my own self-doubt.

For the last few weeks, I felt drained, like I don’t have a direction in life and I’m just wandering like a leaf on the wind (honestly, I’ve felt that way since grad school, but it’s getting really bad). Self-doubt is creeping in, and it’s affecting the quality of my work, let alone if I get anything done at all!

Self-doubt is completely normal, but it’s a killer for practicing magick. Magick is about putting your energies out into the universe and believing in yourself. If you’re sending out crappy vibes, more crap will come to you. Ultimately, it can be one of the hardest things to do to break that cycle – but if you want to grow, you have to take that leap of faith, find the positivity in your life and harness it to take you where you want to go.

I want to give out a bunch of advice, but truth is, I don’t have any. I do the cliché: take it one day at a time, slow down, cut yourself a break, mainly: heal. But in reality, it’s more complicated.

I’m a tattooist by trade, and a month or two ago, I inked a saying on my client’s chest: “change starts when you’ve had enough.” The best way I’ve found that breaks the cycle of self-doubt is when you’re fed up: you’re done with the bully in your head telling you you’re not good enough, or the naysayers telling you you’ll fail, or you won’t make it. You have to decide that you’re done living a life that keeps you down and you’re going to take the steps you can to make it better, one foot in front of the other, towards the life you want.

As far as this blog goes… I kind of want to write more, maybe bring in other areas of my practice (I’m still on a big astrology kick and I’ve been an avid tarot reader for a long time). But meantime, it will still be crochet focused.

Stay tuned for updates, take care of yourselves, and blessed be!